A Letter to Someone Going Through a Breakup

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We’ve spent a couple weeks away from the breakup posts, but as promised, I’m going to sprinkle my regular posts with some brilliant and insightful breakup advice posts. I have truly loved receiving emails and comments on my posts, and to know that someone, somewhere is benefiting from this rambling, well that’s all the reassurance I need to keep on “putting it out there.”

In my first post, I talked about how I wrote a “ground-breaking, mind-blowing breakup post” the first time I broke up with Mr. X. The post went into the ol’ drafts section after I decided to give it another go. I remember thinking, “Wow, what a shame – I think that would have been a good post.” Perhaps the fact that I was disappointed about staying in my relationship because I wouldn’t have the opportunity to share a post on my blog should have been a sign that it was the wrong decision…

Here we are now four months later, and good news, the advice is still relevant. The post was supposed to be a witty “letter to a person going through a breakup.” It has, of course, been expanded since I had an additional month of embarrassing material from the last month of my relationship to draw wisdom from. 

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I am by no means an expert in the art of handling a breakup with poise and dignity. Quite the opposite, in fact. But at the end of the day, like every other significant life experience, I learned a lot, and I might as well share those learnings with you lucky people that are in the middle of a breakup too…

Dear Poor, Poor Woman Going Through a Breakup – 

Before I launch into my incredibly wise and surely eye-opening advice, let me assure you of one thing: It’s not the end of the world. I don’t care how long you’ve been together, if you have a dog together, whether you’re married or not. The world will go on, and so will you. I think it’s pretty important that you come to terms with this realization right now, because you’ll probably hear the statement from your friends and family about 50 times during this entire process…but, let me also tell you the following things. Continue Reading →

Posted in: Breakups

Breaking Up (with Social Media) is Hard to Do

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In one of the multitude of brilliant episodes of that timeless show, Sex and the City, entitled “Ex and the City,” Carrie and the ladies grapple with one of the many awkward issues that arise post-breakup: How to proceed with your “relationship” with your ex after the relationship ends.

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Carrie, ever the romantic, has sincere hopes of forming a friendship with Mr. Big (of course, that’s before she finds out he’s engaged to a 20-something model after dating her for 6 months). But Miranda’s words always stuck with me:

“I would love to be one of those people who’s all ‘We loved, thank you. You enriched my life. Now, go prosper.’ But, I’m much more, “We didn’t work out. You need to not exist.”

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Through the serious relationships in my life, I’ve learned that one’s opinion on this conundrum is generally situational. I had those cheesy “We loved, go prosper” movie-style breakups with some. Others, not so much. However, what I do know is that that, thanks to Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Tumbler, etc., we don’t necessarily have a choice in the matter.

Sure, you can choose whether or not to be “friends” with your ex. You can even choose whether or not you want to be “Facebook Friends” or follow them on Twitter and Instagram. But, inevitably, whether you make the conscious decision to take these actions, you’ll always make the sub-conscious decision to cyberstalk him. Seriously, you will. Don’t deny it.

We all know you can still see a lot even when you “defriend” him. And, thankfully, most Twitter accounts and Instagram accounts aren’t private. Oh, and even better, there’s always his new girlfriend’s Twitter account… But, you would never do that right?

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So,I decided that this time around I was going to be above all this cyberstalking nonsense. As I started piecing my life together post-breakup in my little hotel room, instead of making plans with UPS to ship all my stuff, the very first thing I did was grab my little computer and deactivate my Facebook account.

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Continue Reading →

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5 Sometimes Healthy Things to Do After a Breakup

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I was really pleased with the response to my breakup post, so I decided that, although it is a bit frightening to “put myself out there” and discuss my personal life, I’m going to do it every once in a while.

As that famous quote from somewhere I can’t remember says, “If you’re not scared, you’re probably not doing it right.”

I’ve mentioned a few times that I can’t believe just how quickly I began to feel better and more like myself once I arrived in Omaha post-breakup. It took about a week, but one day I realized that I’m actually very content right now. There are a few things up in the air, including my job and where I plan to live in Omaha (thanks for the temporary home mom and dad), which make me feel uneasy and unsettled at times. However, I genuinely feel good about myself and the decisions that I’ve made since arriving home.

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Realistically, the worse days probably aren’t behind me yet. I’m sure they’ll be some rough days every now and then. But, in the meantime, I’m just going to try to enjoy the ride!

Let’s be honest: breakups suck. But, they happen all the time. Every day. All day. In fact, there’s probably about a million people breaking up right now as you read this post. Yet, knowing that “you’re not alone” really doesn’t help ease the pain does it? Your pain feels uniquely horrible and you cannot possibly imagine anyone feeling as bad as you do.

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I get it. I’ve been there. 

So, for any of you that are going through a painful breakup right now, I wanted to provide a few things that helped me through the bumpy times.  Continue Reading →

Posted in: Breakups, Life Changes, Uncategorized